Ryckmania

Adventures in Homeschooling, crafts and more


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Before I was a parent…

Before I was a parent, I had all the answers. I knew all the tricks to make a picky child eat. I knew how I would one day set boundaries and how children were supposed to behave in public.

Before I was a parent I was patient and kind. I never lost my cool.

Before I was a parent I knew everything about schedules and I was never late.

Before I was a parent I had the most perfect parenting plans in mind. I knew how well adjusted and perfect my children would be!

Before I was a parent I read about nutrition and knew exactly what I would and would not feed my children.

Before I was a parent I knew what it took to get children to do chores and was horrified when someone mentioned that not everything was by the books. After all, all it took was a stern technique and patience!

Before I had any children I was a wonderful parent.

Clueless.

I never realized that every child is a person. They have likes and dislikes, they have personalities and wonderful thoughts! I thought I would be doing all the teaching.

Before I was a parent I completely underestimated how exhausting parenting would be… Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally… I never thought about how hard it would be to discipline someone you love so much or how tough it would be to watch them struggle with anything yet sit back and give them a chance to learn.

Before I was a parent I knew I would love my children, but I never predicted just how deeply. I knew they would make me proud but I never thought I would be overwhelmed with pride every time they achieved something.

Before I was a parent I never over thought decisions.

And I had time for myself.

But I felt empty without even knowing it.

I would not trade the mess, the cries, the snot filled noses.

I would never trade the toothpaste all over the sink.

The laundry piled up high.

Never.

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I don’t do compliments.

Quite literally.

It’s like everyone attended this compliment seminar while I was out sick and I just never caught on.

I don’t remember ever knowing how to respond to a compliment, instead I giggle uncomfortably and find about 10 negatives about whatever it is that was complimented in the first place. I am very good at this.

The other day my older neighbor, Miss J, told me: ‘You are a good mom!’. That was it. I immediately started rambling about how bad I was and how I had no patience and yelled sometimes. By the time I was able to stop myself from saying anymore, I was telling her how bad my laundry skills were and how my kids rarely wear matching socks because I can’t find the time to match them.  Why? Why did I immediately attack myself when  a simple thanks would have sufficed?

I don’t understand why I put myself down so loudly and proudly, but lately I have noticed it more and have tried to come up with a plan to not be my own worst enemy.

So far I have nothing, but I am not giving up just yet.


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Hemangioma update

I get quite a few questions on my Hemangioma post so I figured I would update it 🙂

Little Miss E’s Hemangioma stopped growing when she was about 4 months and lodged itself behind her eye. When she is awake her eyelid  looks slightly droopier and hardly noticeable unless she is sick or crying. When she sleeps it sits right on the eyelid and it is much more obvious.

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At our last appointment with the eye specialist it was determined that it has affected her sight very slightly and treatment was brought up. I asked about Propanolol (a beta blocker) but was told they don’t offer it and the only treatment option would be to inject the hemangioma directly. I weighed the pros and cons and decided not to put her through it. The doctor agreed with my decision and wrote down her prescription on her file (no glasses yet) and we went on our way. We get to see him every 3 months to recheck her eyes.

As of right now I don’t see a difference in size. It looks the same, some days more obvious and some days hardly noticeable, but it can take up to age 7 to shrink, so we wait.

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Please if you have any questions or just need to chat about it let me know. I know at first when I noticed it growing my support system were other mothers whose babies had gone through the same thing, as no one else knew what it was (the pediatrician included).


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Happy 18 months!!!

Has it really been that long? Is she really closer to 2 than she is to 1? Hard to believe!

Today we celebrated 18 months of our sweet Little Miss E. She is growing everyday,  getting funnier, more independent (and dramatic!!!). Little miss E still loves books and asks to read all the time. She loves board books and paper books, big and small, books are her favorite! She also loves food, any kind! Her favorites are mac and cheese, grapes, apple sauce pouches, yogurt and raspberries. She loves to color. She adores Minnie Mouse and Yo gabba gabba. She is getting her own little personality and it is just amazing to watch.

We celebrated her ‘Half Birthday’ with half a cake of course 🙂 We love cake!

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Little Miss E loved her cake… She dropped her spoon and attacked it with both her hands! 🙂

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Happy 18 months my sweet Princess! Everyday I thank the Lord for trusting me to care for you, every hair pulling moment I remind myself of what an important job I have.

I pray for your happiness always. We love you…

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